Do’s and Don’ts for Tinder

tinder

My good friend Toni is a long term Tinder and online dating app user! She has kindly put together her own advice for people trying to figure out how to get the most out of their own tinder experience.

So here are her Tinder rules.
Let’s start with the donts
-DON’T START OFF BY COMPLIMENTING MY ASS/BOOBS.
Sure, I have a great rack, but is the first time you speak to me really the time to bring that up? It’s a great way to show me that you’re only interested in objectifying me and couldn’t care less about me, as long as you can get laid
-DON’T ASK ME IF I WANT TO MEET UP BEFORE WE’VE HAD BANTER
This is pretty much the equivalent of walking into a bar and saying ‘hi. I’m Phillip. Want to fuck?’ Banter doesn’t take heaps of effort but it does show me that you have half decent social skills and aren’t a complete dick. Lots of us are turned on with our minds. Talking to us is like foreplay and it’s a sound investment
-DON’T ASSUME THAT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO MEET UP TO FUCK AFTER ONLY THREE MESSAGES EXCHANGED THAT I WANT A RELATIONSHIP
I’m on tinder for sex. Don’t think that just because I want to get to know you a little means I want to marry you. I don’t. I just would rather fuck someone I can have a conversation with. I’m weird like that.
-DON’T DOUBLE MESSAGE
Ok, so sometimes I only reply to half a question and then realise and reply to the other half. That’s fine. But if someone messages you and you don’t hear back, don’t double message. They’re either busy (that’s a good thing-it means they have a life) or they don’t want to speak to you. Chill out and take a hint
-DON’T HAVE EXPECTATIONS FOR A DATE
Ok, I get it. It’s tinder. You’re in there for sex. Getting to the point of an actual date is hard work. But no one owes you sex. Ever. Sometimes when you meet up there’s just not enough chemistry. Or they’re not in the mood. Whatever the reason, no one owes you sex.
DON’T INCLUDE PICTURES OF YOU WITH OTHER PEOPLE YOU’RE DATING-in fact, shy away from pictures of you with other people all together. It’s confusing.
DON’T ANSWER AND NOT ASK-if someone is making an effort to ask you question, it is incredibly rude to just give short replies with no effort to ask them anything

Ok. Now onto to the dos

DO INCLUDE A PICTURE OF YOURSELF-make sure there are pictures of yourself on your profile. Memes alone won’t get you laid
DO WRITE A BIO-if you haven’t put any effort into writing about yourself, I automatically assume you’ll put no effort into getting me off.
DO MAKE ME LAUGH-ok, so maybe we won’t have the same sense of humour. But attempting be funny and interesting in your profile will probably get you an automatic swipe.
DO MESSAGE ME-I swiped right for a reason and I’m assuming you did too. Hit me up.
DO THINK OF AN OPENER-hey or hi is not a deal breaker, but it is a bit boring. I’ll be more engaged if you try to say something original
DO ASK ME WHY I’M ON TINDER-
It’s important to know if we’re on the same page. And be honest. I can’t tell you how many times guys have told me they’re looking for something serious thinking it will get them laid, only to have me say ‘oh I just want casual sex’. Let the back peddling begin

Ok, that’s my list. I might update as I think of things. Feel free to ask questions in the comments!
If I say it’s a bit late for tonight, don’t say “Well just come hang out on my porch and if we don’t get along you can just leave”.
And yes, this actually happened.

 

And there you have it! A very good list to begin with for your own Tinder adventures, or some areas you may want to look at improving.

 

-Annwen

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